Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Sorry for my absence...

Hey guys! Sorry I have been away but I am back to answer all questions. My sister just had a baby, and I've been off helping out. Everyone welcome 9lb 4oz Connor to the world!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

My day with the Jury Duty... *Edited... now with more crappy content :D*

So Sarah wanted to know about my jury duty. Basically I had to get up at 6 am, and drive to a courthouse an hour and a half away from me, down a one lane highway. I got stuck behind an RV. I am pretty sure it was being driven by the crypt keeper himself, and it never got over 30mph. Finally, after the drive from hell, I get to the courthouse. Between the parking lot, and the courthouse is a 30ft. lake of muddy water. Yay. I got around it, only getting mud about ankle high all. Sucked. So I finally got inside and stood in line for a half an hour to check in, standing butt to crotch with a hundred other strangers. Done, finally. They file us into the courtroom and assign us seating. I... of course get assigned to sit next to an older gentleman who had just recently bathed in what I can only assume from the smell, was a mixture of moth balls, ball sweat, and musk. He also wheezed like a very very fat person, but was surprisingly skinny. So... sitting there for like 20 minutes or so in silence, when the county clerk comes in and says the attorney is late, and we can all piss off for a half an hour. This repeats again when we file back into the room, as he still didn't show up. Almost 2 hours after I reached the courthouse, the attorney finally shows up. The defendant takes one look at us, all angry and sleepy, and pleads guilty. So... all that work and I didn't actually even get to participate in a trial. Pretty sure my sense of smell is also permanently damaged now.

Sarah also asked about the jury selection process:

I am not super sure how it works, but when one turns 18 they are automatically added to the potential jury pool for both county and federal. I didn't get selected for 10 years, though people I know have been selected many times. They allow you to file for an exemption if you have a child that you can't leave alone or are disabled and things like that, otherwise you are obligated to go. Even if you get summoned, you might not get selected to serve. They call about 200 people at a time, and then interview and select the ones they want to serve. Its kind of like doing a job interview for a job that you don't really like, but you have to do.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Saaarah Friend? (for those of you that don't get the reference, go watch The Labyrinth)

Sarah writes:

WORK...Work...Don't you think work tends to take over 3/4th of our lives?

Dear Sarah,

Yes work does seem to take things over, especially if you are living paycheck to paycheck. Life is hard in these uncertain times, and its difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Trying just to pay the bills and have a little left over to get your haircut is tiring and stressful. The workdays are long, and there are so few days off, and even when you DO get a day off it seems to get filled with chores right? *Clears her throat and puts on her infomercial voice* Not any more with Picket's Patented Screw Off plan. Every day you get to screw off just a little bit more. Find time to draw a picture while on the toilet at work. Maybe, build a little man out of office supplies. Finding ways to NOT work while at work since 1998! I have found that life is about enjoyment. If you are having fun at what you are doing, its not really work anymore. The key is to figure out how to make what you are doing fun, and I can find the fun in any job. Seriously... I once worked for a weekend pumping out septic tanks. I can find the fun in ANY job. So my dear Sarah, tell me what you do, and I'll tell you how it can be fun. Also... on a side note... I had jury duty for the first time today. It sucks balls. That is all.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Dear Sarah:

Sarah writes:
Since its Feb I'll ask a question about Valentine's day. What did you do on Valentine's day last year Miss Picket?

Dear Sarah,

Like most women without men, I hate Valentines day, and will be spending it alone and hating the opposite gender. Don't worry though... I'll stop hating guys the day after Valentines day again. There is something about a super duper vomit inducing saccharine sweet holiday that angers up the blood. Also... does anyone actually know who St. Valentine is? Why is it that we are supposed to pair up and fuck on his day? I WANT TO KNOWWWWW! I will however be buying a huge box of chocolates, replacing all of the chocolates with dog shit, and passing it out to strangers on the street. Why? Because I am a dick :)

Friday, February 3, 2012

A long rant...

So... I try not to rant often, if at all... but today is the day. This morning I woke up, grabbed some instant breakfast, and shuffled to my computer, eyes still bleary and crusty, and watched an episode of family guy (as I do most mornings.) Everything was well and good. I have a favorite website for all of my FG, Simpsons, American Dad, and Futurama needs. This evening I logged onto the same site to watch a little American Dad... only to find it had been shut down due to some stupid legal order. Ok, I understand actors, producers, the music industry, ect. have been feeling the impact of people downloading shit off the internet and watching movies/listening to music in the comfort of their own homes, instead of paying ridiculous amounts of money to go out and get popcorn covered in oil instead of butter. Guess what Hollywood?! We don't have any fucking money either. SOOOOO maybe you have to give up a few extras... let us enjoy the few little things in life. Besides... you guys chose your career path because you want to share your gift with your audience right? Touch some lives? How you think you are gonna do that when no one can actually afford to come see your shit? Fuck man... if you keep pushing this shit about shutting down download sites... its just going to turn into the internet version of the war on drugs. Everyone is still going to do it, we are just going to find more creative ways of doing it. I'll feel bad for Hollywood when I start seeing them getting their houses/cars repossessed WITHOUT them evading taxes first. I also understand that they don't want people getting their product for free... I get it I really do... but THAT is the chance you take. Besides... people still buy your shit and go to movies. They will always do that. Those who have money to spend, do. Also, its not like your revenue is based solely on CD/DVDs. There are concerts (which people flock to) and movie theaters (DOWN WITH OIL ON POPCORN! LONG LIVE ARTERY CLOGGING BUTTER!) and itunes and all that crap. Rant over.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012


Sarah writes: Life, just go with the flow, live free or plan every step, every move? Your opinion?

Dear Sarah:

Why must you have one or the other? Its all about balance. If one lives their lives with nothing but spontaneity, one ends up a smelly hippy. No one wants that. Patchouli oil is not a valid deodorant. You'll have to name your children something like Rainbow Star Moonfucker. Its... just a bad situation all around. Living completely pre-planned will turn you into a drone. One day you'll open your closet and realized that it has turned into a cartoon closet, and is now filled with exactly the same outfit three hundred times over. You'll work in an office doing something excruciatingly boring like... well I don't know as all office work is excruciatingly boring to me. It makes me a sad panda. SO to recap... balance. Plan your future and work toward it, but be flexible. Life is going to throw curve balls at you. That's just what life does. Be ready for anything, and... for fucks sake... have fun with life. That's what life is for. That and sex. LOTS OF SEX. Those are the keys to a happy life. (Though I do not suggest sex with lots of random people... AIDS and all yanno)