Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Sorry for my absence...

Hey guys! Sorry I have been away but I am back to answer all questions. My sister just had a baby, and I've been off helping out. Everyone welcome 9lb 4oz Connor to the world!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

My day with the Jury Duty... *Edited... now with more crappy content :D*

So Sarah wanted to know about my jury duty. Basically I had to get up at 6 am, and drive to a courthouse an hour and a half away from me, down a one lane highway. I got stuck behind an RV. I am pretty sure it was being driven by the crypt keeper himself, and it never got over 30mph. Finally, after the drive from hell, I get to the courthouse. Between the parking lot, and the courthouse is a 30ft. lake of muddy water. Yay. I got around it, only getting mud about ankle high all. Sucked. So I finally got inside and stood in line for a half an hour to check in, standing butt to crotch with a hundred other strangers. Done, finally. They file us into the courtroom and assign us seating. I... of course get assigned to sit next to an older gentleman who had just recently bathed in what I can only assume from the smell, was a mixture of moth balls, ball sweat, and musk. He also wheezed like a very very fat person, but was surprisingly skinny. So... sitting there for like 20 minutes or so in silence, when the county clerk comes in and says the attorney is late, and we can all piss off for a half an hour. This repeats again when we file back into the room, as he still didn't show up. Almost 2 hours after I reached the courthouse, the attorney finally shows up. The defendant takes one look at us, all angry and sleepy, and pleads guilty. So... all that work and I didn't actually even get to participate in a trial. Pretty sure my sense of smell is also permanently damaged now.

Sarah also asked about the jury selection process:

I am not super sure how it works, but when one turns 18 they are automatically added to the potential jury pool for both county and federal. I didn't get selected for 10 years, though people I know have been selected many times. They allow you to file for an exemption if you have a child that you can't leave alone or are disabled and things like that, otherwise you are obligated to go. Even if you get summoned, you might not get selected to serve. They call about 200 people at a time, and then interview and select the ones they want to serve. Its kind of like doing a job interview for a job that you don't really like, but you have to do.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Saaarah Friend? (for those of you that don't get the reference, go watch The Labyrinth)

Sarah writes:

WORK...Work...Don't you think work tends to take over 3/4th of our lives?

Dear Sarah,

Yes work does seem to take things over, especially if you are living paycheck to paycheck. Life is hard in these uncertain times, and its difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Trying just to pay the bills and have a little left over to get your haircut is tiring and stressful. The workdays are long, and there are so few days off, and even when you DO get a day off it seems to get filled with chores right? *Clears her throat and puts on her infomercial voice* Not any more with Picket's Patented Screw Off plan. Every day you get to screw off just a little bit more. Find time to draw a picture while on the toilet at work. Maybe, build a little man out of office supplies. Finding ways to NOT work while at work since 1998! I have found that life is about enjoyment. If you are having fun at what you are doing, its not really work anymore. The key is to figure out how to make what you are doing fun, and I can find the fun in any job. Seriously... I once worked for a weekend pumping out septic tanks. I can find the fun in ANY job. So my dear Sarah, tell me what you do, and I'll tell you how it can be fun. Also... on a side note... I had jury duty for the first time today. It sucks balls. That is all.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Dear Sarah:

Sarah writes:
Since its Feb I'll ask a question about Valentine's day. What did you do on Valentine's day last year Miss Picket?

Dear Sarah,

Like most women without men, I hate Valentines day, and will be spending it alone and hating the opposite gender. Don't worry though... I'll stop hating guys the day after Valentines day again. There is something about a super duper vomit inducing saccharine sweet holiday that angers up the blood. Also... does anyone actually know who St. Valentine is? Why is it that we are supposed to pair up and fuck on his day? I WANT TO KNOWWWWW! I will however be buying a huge box of chocolates, replacing all of the chocolates with dog shit, and passing it out to strangers on the street. Why? Because I am a dick :)

Friday, February 3, 2012

A long rant...

So... I try not to rant often, if at all... but today is the day. This morning I woke up, grabbed some instant breakfast, and shuffled to my computer, eyes still bleary and crusty, and watched an episode of family guy (as I do most mornings.) Everything was well and good. I have a favorite website for all of my FG, Simpsons, American Dad, and Futurama needs. This evening I logged onto the same site to watch a little American Dad... only to find it had been shut down due to some stupid legal order. Ok, I understand actors, producers, the music industry, ect. have been feeling the impact of people downloading shit off the internet and watching movies/listening to music in the comfort of their own homes, instead of paying ridiculous amounts of money to go out and get popcorn covered in oil instead of butter. Guess what Hollywood?! We don't have any fucking money either. SOOOOO maybe you have to give up a few extras... let us enjoy the few little things in life. Besides... you guys chose your career path because you want to share your gift with your audience right? Touch some lives? How you think you are gonna do that when no one can actually afford to come see your shit? Fuck man... if you keep pushing this shit about shutting down download sites... its just going to turn into the internet version of the war on drugs. Everyone is still going to do it, we are just going to find more creative ways of doing it. I'll feel bad for Hollywood when I start seeing them getting their houses/cars repossessed WITHOUT them evading taxes first. I also understand that they don't want people getting their product for free... I get it I really do... but THAT is the chance you take. Besides... people still buy your shit and go to movies. They will always do that. Those who have money to spend, do. Also, its not like your revenue is based solely on CD/DVDs. There are concerts (which people flock to) and movie theaters (DOWN WITH OIL ON POPCORN! LONG LIVE ARTERY CLOGGING BUTTER!) and itunes and all that crap. Rant over.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012


Sarah writes: Life, just go with the flow, live free or plan every step, every move? Your opinion?

Dear Sarah:

Why must you have one or the other? Its all about balance. If one lives their lives with nothing but spontaneity, one ends up a smelly hippy. No one wants that. Patchouli oil is not a valid deodorant. You'll have to name your children something like Rainbow Star Moonfucker. Its... just a bad situation all around. Living completely pre-planned will turn you into a drone. One day you'll open your closet and realized that it has turned into a cartoon closet, and is now filled with exactly the same outfit three hundred times over. You'll work in an office doing something excruciatingly boring like... well I don't know as all office work is excruciatingly boring to me. It makes me a sad panda. SO to recap... balance. Plan your future and work toward it, but be flexible. Life is going to throw curve balls at you. That's just what life does. Be ready for anything, and... for fucks sake... have fun with life. That's what life is for. That and sex. LOTS OF SEX. Those are the keys to a happy life. (Though I do not suggest sex with lots of random people... AIDS and all yanno)

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Dear Sarah:

Sarah Writes:
Do you think people who commit suicide should be pitied? Do you consider them strong or weak people? 

Dear Sarah: Now that is a very interesting question. I do feel sorry for people who commit suicide. They have given up on the beauty of life. I don't think it's weakness. I don't really understand suicide myself, as there is nothing in this life that could make me want to give it up... Well... maybe I could understand it if someone lost a child. I don't think I could get over that myself. I don't understand it when people commit suicide over love or losing their job though. That just seems a really silly reason to give up. There is always a new day and new opportunities. I just love life too much to give it up, so... That not really an answer, I understand... but I don't really have an answer for that. I personally could not comprehend suicide, because I adore every moment on this earth. I life by the philosophy that every breath should be cherished, because you never know when it may be your last. Hope that helped in some way.

I am going to edit this post and add this here, as this was my inspiration for what I am about to say.

Thinking about the topic of suicide made me think about the reasons someone might kill themselves, and it lead me to the decision that people who kill themselves have lost their passion. Many people never find their passion in life. They muddle through just doing what they must to survive. While that is necessary, it is sad. Everyone has a secret passion. Something they love to do, should it be painting, creating or just listening to music, or making Lego towers. It doesn't matter what it is, but everyone has a secret passion. That makes me wonder why people no longer pursue their passions as a career? Maybe you won't get rich doing what you love... but there is a way to make just about anything profitable. I mean for fucks sake... there is someone out there who will buy any product. You just have to know how to market your project. Ok... maybe baby diapers with dildos printed on them would be a bad idea. If your passion is a BAD IDEA... maybe find a new one? For most of us, that is not the case though. Also... don't let anyone tell you that something can not be done, but because it hasn't been done yet. Never ever let someone else dictate your life to you. I believe there is such a mass of unhappy people, because we let other people decide how our lives will go. Take your life and live it. Find what makes you happy and do it. Squeeze every exquisite drop out of every day. It is hard to be happy, I know that. It takes a conscious effort. I am not trying to step on anyone's toes or anything with this last statement, so please don't scream at me about the big G man or whatever. No one knows for sure what happens when we die. Maybe we go to heaven, maybe we are reincarnated as a beetle, or maybe we just cease to be. Whatever the case, I'd rather live life as hard as I can and get as much enjoyment out of it as I can, while I can. One never knows what comes next... you should make what you have count.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Dear Sarah:

Sarah writes:

I seem to always have this argument with people about love and lust soo I was wondering what is your opinion again on differentiating between the two, love and and love lust? is lust love? *pulls her hair out*

Dear Sarah,

Ask one question, or a hundred. I don't mind answering them... that's why I am here. As for the question of love versus lust. Its not hard for me to answer that one, as I have thought about it for many years. I once thought that love was a passionate attraction to another person, so much so that you could not breathe without them. I don't think that way anymore. I now know that love is sacrificing your own needs for another, just so they will not go wanting. It is supporting them day in and day out, because their dreams are worth seeing through. It is about giving all of yourself, not just the best parts. Love is real, when you can be so angry at that special person that you feel like blasting off into space on sheer rage power, and still knowing that theirs is a face you want to see for the rest of your days. The key here, is that you must receive the same in return. It does happen. Lust, I now identify as that passionate embrace. You can't see your night ending without them... but its just as far as that. Love is easy... to a degree. It comes without your knowing, and it slips in so easily that you may not even realize its happening. But it also takes hard work. Its hard to mesh two completely different lives together, and one must allow for a degree of resistance. That's just my opinion. 

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Dear Sarah:

Hi Miss Picket, what is your opinion on the difference between reality and a dream? =)

Dear Sarah,

Sorry for missing your question. I am a giant asshole about that sometimes. I have a bad habit  of only glossing over my page. Anyway, to answer your question... I thought about it for a long time, tossing around ideas like what happens if one believes dream to be reality, does it actually become real? Who knows? It might... However, no matter how many times I have closed my eyes and wished away bills, they still come... so probably not. Oh well, such is life. It, in my humble opinion, boils down to this... The true difference between dreams and reality is just a matter of motivation. If you dream something, it is up to you to make it true or not. Here is an example... two men dream of space travel. One has motivation, the other does not. One invents a rocket, the other sits on the couch, and watches the first launch into space. You can dream all you like, and you can waste your life doing it, if you do not have the motivation it takes. If you have vision, and motivation, you can do... and be anything. Anyone who ever became someone, did so by defying those around them who tried to hold him back. Also... same story for anyone who has tried something really stupid... so be careful your dream isn't one of those. Common sense still reigns supreme. So... hopefully you get my meaning in all that rambling. Remember folks... I am mostly talking out of my ass. 

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Some Shit I Just thought of...

Since no one has posted a question in a while, I will share with you a random thought from my head.

Are a hunter, or are you the prey?

In the relationship game, you can be one of two things. You can be the hunter, or the prey. They do not mean what you think, so don't get offended already. Get your cursor away from the comment button and finish reading. It does not matter your sex, or your sex... because believe me... I am more hunter than prey in the sack. Ha! Anyway...

The Hunter: You take the bull by the horns, you go out and find. You don't always find what you want... no, but you do find. You have probably been in a bunch of very short term relationships. You have dated every person from too nice to too crazy. You can't just sit around and wait for Mr. or Ms. Right. You are going to be the one to track them down. Life is too short to wait. Besides... who really needs the 'right one'? You are doing just fine with your string of sexual relationships right? RIGHT? 

The Prey: You are shy. You've been hurt before. Its hard not to keep looking over your shoulder, waiting for the next shot to be fired. You most likely have only had a few relationships, mostly long term. You like the safety of monogamy. Its comfortable... like an old shoe. It may not be flashy, but damn it, you aren't going to get blisters. 

We are all something, and of course I am generalizing, but if you really think about it, what I am saying is true. I came to the realization that I am the prey. I don't like to make the first move, and its hard for me to open up. Blah blah blah... this is how my mind works. So... yea... until more questions are posted, I will be posting shit like this. Enjoy!